Friendship.

[ryuserev]

Uneasiness until one's driven to tears, hands trembling as I type laughs and words in the screen. I seem to have having a good time, but in reality I'm not. I appreciate the kindness, affection and time you take to talk to me, but it feels as if I'm walking through hell. It's enough to know you care one time, you don't have to keep talking to me. It's weird. I know it's weird. But I'd be happy, really. Don't talk to me every day. It's draining. Sometimes I just wanna sleep, I just wanna play, but I also gotta check on you and your messages. Is it mean to think this way? But I really don't wanna talk. I do think you are great and I like you a lot, because we are friends. But that's the problem. I don't wanna be friends. I don't wanna talk. I can't keep up with that world. It's hard to type for so long with a person. How do people talk for hours and hours without draining themselves? Even ten minutes it's just too much. I'm lame, I think. But I really don't want anyone. It's okay as I am, truly. Extroverts are too much... I swear I can't live up to them. And I'm sorry. I really feel bad for thinking this way. I know you appreciate me, so you wanna talk to me, yet I'm like this. I suck, but please... I just can't...